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Clarks is kinda Super, man..Hehe, I kill me.

Clarks Restaurant
Suite 170-130 Broadway Blvd,
Sherwood Park, AB

So you should know by now, my illustrious readers, that I like cheap. Not cheap quality mind you, but cheap price tags. I can appreciate quality in things and will happily pay for it. However, I can’t help but get all giddy and flushed when I find quality AND a cheap price in once spot.

I’ve been to this little gem called Clarks twice now in the last two weeks. Once for breakfast to meet a super cool friend of mine who sells sex toys for a living, (told you she was cool), and another time for lunch with my Mom. ( My mom doesn’t sell sex toys for a living, and while I thank God for that, she’s still cool.)

So I’m only going to review the lunch with Mom for this post because I wasn’t thinking to take photos of the breakfast I had with my cool friend, plus my Mom said “Hey, you should review this place”.

Smartypants.

Easy to find, this little spot has maybe 10 tables in the whole place, I think. Surprisingly, it was about half full at 12:30 in the afternoon, (thought it might be busier), but our server greeted us immediately when we walked in the door and brought us to a table. Taking our drink order and giving us menu’s she left us to decide.

The prices on this menu are amazing people! Mom ordered liver and onions (she could have ordered the senior’s size for $6.50 – one scoop of mashed potatoes with gravy, two pieces of liver, and vegetables – but she’s in denial about the senior thing I think – so she ordered the normal portion). She went on about how she hasn’t eaten liver for almost a year, and I reminded her that it’s been about 25 years since I’ve eaten it. I’d rather run naked through a cactus patch and bathe in a tub of vinegar than eat liver.

Ok, not quite, ….. but well, honestly?…… Maybe.

I ordered their house burger (can’t remember the name of it dammit!), but it had cheese, bacon and mushrooms on it with all the other burger paraphernalia, and fries. The price for that burger rang in at $8.99.

When the dishes came to the table, my mom seemed super pleased with her decision. She tried her first bite of the liver and looked up to the ceiling and said ” OH MY GOD” (all dramatic like),  with an added “this is the best liver I”ve had in a very long time!!”. The waitress came along and Mom repeated what she expressed loud enough for all the other tables sitting around us to hear, and then the waitress went straight away into the kitchen and you could her yell… “JUAN!! Hey JUUAAAAN!!! -The liver and onions are excellent she said!”.

She had started eating it by the time I took the photo.. sorry peeps, but here it is! :

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Mom figured the liver was slightly coated in a panko type coating and fried slightly crispy, but not like “shoe leather”. The gravy tasted home-style, the mash was smooth and creamy and she said the veggies were very good – fresh, not from frozen and  not overcooked. All this stupid excitement over the liver made me think I had to try it.

So I cut a very small piece and kinda dipped in some gravy.

It was crispy on the outside, tender, and still tasted disgustingly like liver to me. But I will admit, it was the very best of all the gross tasting liver I’ve ever had in my life.

For real – If you love liver,  you will love Clarks’ liver.

(Somehow that sounded weird, but you get what I’m saying)

My burger was pretty good. The patty was house made and slightly dense, almost overworked, but very tasty. The cheese and bacon were nice but it could have used a few more mushrooms. All in all, the portion size was more than worth that price tag. Hell, you’re gonna pay that same price pretty much at MacDonald’s and the patties there are like shingles.

Ma burgah pic:

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Our server was VERY attentive and incidentally, an older lady who’s been with the company for 22 years. This lady worked her ass off, was super friendly and made sure we were looked after. She was worth the generous tip, without question!

On a side note, their breakfasts are super decent (EG: 2 eggs, 2 pancakes, 2 sausage, 2 bacon for $5.35.) and they have a huge variety of different Eggs Benedict if you’re looking for something other than the original.

I will definitely be going back to Clarks for breakfast or lunch. Apparently for dinner, it becomes a chinese food place, which is great, but I can’t comment right now because I’ve not tried it…………………………..

Yet.

YE OLDE KINGS HEAD!

Ye Olde Kings Head
116 Santa Monica Boulevard,
Santa Monica, CA
Written by guest reviewer, Chris Davis

When I think of British I think of 80’s pop bands, tea,Trafalgar Square, crappy weather, Monty Python, and those red telephone booths they have. But what about the food, you ask? Well that part is something they’re not really known for as a whole.But…. then there are their fish and chips.When you come to the Los Angeles area you usually expect the following: Palm trees. Hollywood boulevard. Movie stars. Writers and actors trying to make it but work at Starbucks, and some ultra trendy food that costs you your first child and is the size a mouse.Well they have all of that, but nestled on the corner of Ocean & Santa Monica Boulevard they also have Ye Olde Kings Head.20140310_114347
“The British are coming!” “The British are coming!”

Well don’t go spilling your Earl Grey tea just yet ~ they’ve been here since 1974.On looking outside you’d think it was just another wannabe pub with some English stuff on the walls, more trendy food, and a bar. But, you’d be wrong.

Completely wrong.
This place is as close to what you’ll find in a West End London pub (minus heavy accents and people from Guy Ritchie movies). The walls are adorned with soccer, rugby, and cricket memorabilia as well as pictures of countless movie stars that have come through the doors to eat the fare.20140310_114549An autographed picture hangs on the wall of Hell’s Kitchen chef (and guy I would stab on national television), Gordon Ramsey, playing soccer. Another picture is of rugby player turned actor, Vinnie Jones, backfisting some guy square in the jewels during a match.

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A class act I tell ya.

But I digress. Onto why I really came here: the food. I looked at the menu for a good 15 minutes after I fully knew exactly what I was going for but I like to see what else might strike my curiosity.

Ok ok ok.

Who am I kidding, I told Danielle, my cute dainty bartender/waitress, “I’ll have the fish and chips, but of course……
OH, and a Black & Tan with a Jameson back”

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While I wait I notice there’s a few fellas at the bar and they are Aussies!! And as Barcelona is playing (and losing) we spark up conversation about our native lands. Mine being San Francisco, and his being Perth. So now we’ve gone international but my food arrived and all talk stopped. I think they understood why.

Let me just say I’ve never been to the UK but I’ve had fish & chips over the years from many places and from what was placed in front of me, I can confidently say that I’ve been lying to myself for years up to now.

Here was what was handed to me with a smile:

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On first look it was something out of a travel magazine, and near perfection. It took me a minute or two to get my hands on it because it was piping hot. I let the heady glass of delicious Guinness and Harp cool my fingers.

The fish is a heavy battered cod fried to an amazing crispness that other places just can’t get quite right. This place NAILED IT. The “chips” or French fries as we in the states call it are a thick cut, almost like half of a steak fry. Served with a side of tartar sauce and a host of condiments, the malt vinegar and lemons were my weapons of choice that day.

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I came around mid-day before my flight back home to The Bay Area so there wasn’t much of a crowd but the waitress was on point and good with conversation. The Aussies and one transient drinker made for a nice cool afternoon. Inside it’s dark as you would think a pub would be but was extremely clean and well put together. There are dart boards for tournaments and along with the well stocked bar, they have a Scotch selection worthy of a long stay. The price of the food was moderate for the area you’re in and well worth it for the portion size.

So on your next trip to the west coast of Southern California make sure you stop by this little nugget of Britishness. Afterwards head over to the pier and do some other tourist stuff!

I give Ye Olde King’s Head and 8 out of 10.

Happy chowing!

blueforkinfoodiestamp

Ye Olde King's Head on Urbanspoon

Good ol’ Shenanigans

Shenanigans Irish Pub and Grille
423-A Shoreline Village Dr
Long Beach, CA 90802
United States

Written by guest reviewer,
Chris Davis

 

There are times when I want some specific type food
but my brain, for just some reason, can’t process what it is. However, in an
event such as this, you need to go with the one kind that
can never let you down……

PUB FOOD!!

Which in most cases for me is some kind of
Irish/British pub. This is what brought me to Shenanigans, located
in Shoreline Village, Long Beach. The weather was great and it was somewhere around 1 o’clock and I was in a mood for your simple wings and Guinness. This place looked like it would fit the bill just perfectly.

The building on the outside is yellow but the back side of the place has
great patio seating overlooking the downtown marina Long Beach. Inside it’s just what a pub should be, pool tables, dart boards, walls adorned with randomness.

Ahhhh yes, a pub as it should be!

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Oh and it’s stocked with a pretty snazzy Scotch selection that you can’t
go wrong with.

Now onto the grub, in some places they do wings different ways. Some fry them, some grill them, others fry and bake them. Me, personally, I prefer them fried nice and crispy with just enough sauce to get on my fingers but NOT on my shirt.

I ordered a dozen in a regular buffalo sauce but lightly coated, a basket of fries and my usual Black & Tan. The bartender had my heart when she asked me “Harp or Smithycks with your Guinness?” In a simple place they’d just serve it with whatever and not ask you. I’m a Harp guy with my Black & Tan’s when it’s available.

That’s just doing it RIGHT.

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My wings came out piping hot just as they should be and she was right on time with my next drink. There was a bit of a difference in these wings though. At first I thought it was some type of spice but the sauce had a bit more kick to it than normal. I couldn’t place what it was but DAMN it was good. The fries were extra crispy just the way I like them, and the house made blue cheese was just what the doctor ordered.

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The place wasn’t exactly its fullest, seeing as how it was a Thursday afternoon and more people were at the beach. But nonetheless, my waitress/bartender was cute and knew what she was doing behind the counter. So service wasn’t an issue and the prices were more than reasonable. So on your next Long Beach trip, go get into some Shenanigans!!

Happy chowing!!

Shenanigans on Urbanspoon

My Lake Chalet

Lake Chalet
Seafood Bar and Grill
1520 Lakeside Drive
Lake Merritt, Oakland

(Guest review for Forkin’ Foodie by Chris Davis)

And good day to you fellow Foodies!!

When you watch a ton of food shows you know they’re
ALWAYS going to end up in the San Francisco Bay area at some point in time and rest assured they always miss a
few gems. Most times it’s because they stick to the pretensions of the slightly snobby places that serve vichyssoise
for $20 per bowl.

Sorry, but there’s no cold potato soup worth that much……….EVER.

Oakland gets a bad wrap with a high crime rate, terrible cops, and the Raiders. But it’s actually a nice place once you open your eyes.
And that brings us to dinner at Lake Chalet.

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Off the bat it sounds like something you’d need a three-week advance
reservation at, but alas you’d be WRONG. Nestled on the newly remodeled section of Lake Merritt
in downtown Oakland you’ll see it. Oh and regarding the MASSIVE oak tree that was blown over
in a storm a few months ago, you may look at it like an eyesore but it actually gives a little character to see
the roots, which then leads to a deeper meaning… (yeah Oakland is kinda like that).

Now onto the location – I’ve come here a few times before to hear a band play on the back deck which is right on the water. There’s
pretty sweet happy hour pricing and they carry a wide variety of booze and wines. The raw bar is stocked with some of the
freshest oysters the coast has to offer and the drinks are excellent.

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I went last night for dinner with some family and decided to get something different, right up until I saw somebody with the same thing a couple of tables away. First was the Buttermilk Calamari with an aioli and wasabi cocktail dipping sauce. I’m not a fan of wasabi so I
nudged it to the side. As a main plate I ordered the Pork Short Ribs (Secret Spice Rub, Sticky Glaze, Peanuts, Sesame Seeds), Parmesan Kennebec Fries, and a house salad. This was all was held down with a bottle of Chimay Red label ale.

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SIDENOTE: As an avid foodie and cook , it seems by what feels like divine reason, I dissect nearly everything I eat. That’s the great
part about eating out. It’s that you have a great dish, and either take it back home to re-create it, or you simply do it from
memory (when it’s JUST that good that a to-go box is not possible). So if you see me with a perplexed look on my face
just know that that’s my inner scientist look, and I’m just trying to figure out what the dish is comprised of, as to reinvent it at home.

Service here for a lightly busy Sunday evening was pretty good. The waitress was a bit flighty and I felt like she was rushing but who
knows what other tables had given her Hell before she got to us, so we were nice.

The calamari comes out and was pretty basic.
A simple buttermilk dredged selection with a dusting of sea salt and fresh cracked pepper.

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After a few minutes the rest of the food came to the table and here is where I knocked them a point. In any simple situation, the salad, when ordered with a full other plate is treated as an appetizer. Therefore, when I ordered the salad, it should come out along side whatever appetizer was ordered, in this case the calamari. So as everything else is being dished out I’m bombarded with now three plates, as the fries and ribs are plated separately.

The salad is a simple mix of greens tossed in a vinaigrette, with pears and goat cheese.

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The fries were something I was slightly disappointed in, as the description indicated a Kennebec potato and turned out to be something straight out of a bag that I could have gotten at any burger joint, but the parmesan was a nice touch.

Now onto the real shining star of the night:

The Pork Spare Ribs.

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Of all the reviews I normally do it’s generally a barbecue place because it’s my main love. I ordered the starter size because I wasn’t going to sit there and go crazy on a full rack. So the three come out with a nice cilantro garnish with sesame seeds. The smell is AMAZING; it’s a spicy and sweet smell that catches you first, and then you grab one…..

I barely had two fingers on it when it just fell apart at the touch. That’s the sign of a good rib. After the first taste of the glaze I was hooked. Pull-apart-tender, with a spicy, almost Sriracha and hoisin taste  with maybe a hint of honey. These were worth the wait and something to come back for on the return.

Overall this is one of Oakland’s gems and a place that I can call a regular spot. I visit mostly in the spring and summer,
when the freshest produce and seafood is put on display and in the menu.

Happy Chowing folks!!!

Chris Davis

Lake Chalet Seafood Bar & Grill on Urbanspoon

Square One might need to start back at…. well…..

Square One
#32 993 Fir St
Sherwood Park, AB

Square One is a new restaurant opened in Sherwood Park recently. While there’s TONS of new, cool eateries that have opened that I still need to try in Edmonton, I’m the first to say that I’m a lazy ass driver and if I can meet with one of my besties for a long lunch on my home turf in suburbia…. I’m gonna make sure it happens. Lucky for Square One that they’re on my turf, yes?..

Hhmm.. maybe not so much.

The decor is nice, and well, based on the last few restaurants I’ve been too – is getting a bit copycatty. Dark woods, chrome, clean lines… blah blah, snore snore. I initially liked it with The Canteen, and with The Phork, but it’s getting old now. Please. Let’s inject some originality here. (IE: De Dutch). Oh, and by originality, I don’t mean the framed print of Darth Vader they have on the wall…….The ONLY piece of “art” they have in the whole place that I could see.

Really?

Anyway, the menu is “international” – a little bit of this.. a little bit of that, all from over this great eclectic globe. They use local ingredients that showcases the grower/producer which scores HUGE points in my book. Sadly, not a lot of mention of the big “O” – (ORGANIC, people…. come on now!).. but maybe that will change with time.

I have to mention that our server was awesome. Didn’t get her name, but if I ever owned a spot, I’d try and poach her from this place. Really friendly, thoughtful and accommodating. She was always there to refill and take away, and ask us if we were cool or needed anything without hanging around and being creepy.

My friend and I decided to share an appie (or appy, or, APPETIZER.. sheesh.. so many choices now a days.) to start. We decided on the Plaza Machado Tostadas – Crispy house tortillas, huichol, pork belly, spicy onions, crème fraiche, lettuce, lime… It was the recommendation of our server as one of the more popular items on the menu. She said she actually dreams about them because they are so good.

My expectations immediately raised a full point.

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They came three to the plate, all pretty and styled. Pretending to be ladylike, I sort of tried to use my knife to cut them into more manageable pieces so I wasnt so dork-like while trying to pick one up to eat.

Yeah…. the idea was great in my mind.

The actual effect was more….. land mine looking. (Our server said she forgot to tell us they’re messy…… Yeaaaaaaah….thanks). So now resembling more of a tiny bundle of nacho’s, we tried them.

Meh.

Yeah.. that’s about it, really. As my loving mother would say – “They didn’t twirl my beads”.

She actually says that. In private…. most times.

The pork belly was a monotone note of just a spicy heat and we tasted no hints of lime at all. The crème fraiche was basically decorative only and the onions were ok. The crispyness of the house made tostada was really nice though. I wouldn’t say I hated the appetizer, but it was just….*shrug*. I sprinkled a tiny bit of salt that it needed over it and that elevated it up a notch to “not bad”. FYI – for those who are spice scared, these puppies are a nice challenge.  They aren’t too hot, but there’s enough heat to make you say “phew! Those gotta kick!” (And you’d say it just like that, right?)

Our main meal for lunch was the Chicken Wrap- Grilled chicken, apples, Gruyère, raisins, greens, quinoa. My friend and I had decided to share the dish and the kitchen was incredibly awesome to actually split the order onto two plates for us with our own little cute bucket of fries.

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Let me tell you, friends and neighbors, this dish was MORE than enough for two of us. Given that we’d had the appetizer, the half wrap each was filling to the point that we both couldn’t really finish it.. never mind eat all the fries. ( We needed to leave room for dessert ok??)

The wrap itself was decent. The quinoa, being what it is, is fairly neutral in taste, so it only added bulk and a slightly weird texture, but the chicken was ok. The apples and raisins were a nice contrast off the chicken and actually, this is the first place I’ve seen that grills the wrap. Nice touch!

So anyway, the wrap was good, but you wouldn’t say it was AMAZEBALLS  good or anything. Again, you wouldn’t go home and blog about it…. (wait, what?) However, if you’re some burly dude who works at a crazy labor job that makes you eat like a hairy Sasquatch, – this would do the deed to fill that cavernous hole.  The fries were better than the wrap, hands down, and my spoiled self was disappointed that it seemed to be the ketchup was made by Heinz and not in-house. (I had a wicked smoked ketchup once and nothing has compared since.) Plus, the wrap left you with a heavy taste of garlic in your mouth afterwards.

Like.. HEAVY.

Like, ban you to the couch for the night, heavy.

Dessert – Saskatoon Berry crème brulee- arrived happy and inviting in a longish styled plate with a pretty brulee’d top on it perfectly sized for sharing.

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The top was nice, warm and crunchy while the filling was lightly dotted with saskatoon berries. The texture of the filling was not what I was used to. Usually it’s nice and smoooooth.. like a luxurious pudding made for a queen. This filling was made for more for the person who gets to do the queen’s laundry because it was a bit lumpy… sort of.  Here, look:

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That being said, it won best of show at lunch today. The weird texture didn’t deter the decadent taste of the cream and berry mixture to show up. The brulee’d sugar on top was just as  François Massialot‘s 1691 cookbook said it should be (I’m guessing, anyway) – with a properly caramelized sugar taste with a crack-with-a-spoon crunch. I kinda doubt he said it like that, but you get my drift.

So, overall, Square One didn’t impress me to go back, sadly. I think they have awesome service and a super cool menu, but from what I sampled today, balanced with the cost of lunch with a few sodas and coffee (around $55.00 not including tip), they have to REALLY step up the taste train to twirl my beads.

Oh, and on a side note, they had the CUTEST cream containers for coffee!! Check it out:

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Square One on Urbanspoon

Phood at The Phork

The Phork
9710 110 Street Capital Place Building
Edmonton, Alberta

Phunny how things are spelled sometimes.

I owed my incredibly handsome nephew a meal and I had recently came across a Groupon deal for a new restaurant called “The Phork”. Usually, restaurants with spellings like this, or with kitchy names like The Crazy Giraffe or The Pink Zebra, usually make me roll my eyes. I just don’t understand that type of restaurant naming.

The Phork is a new restaurant that’s been open for 3 weeks or so, and had a Groupon “coupon” for $50.00 value if you spent $25.00.  If you’ve been reading my incredibly interesting blog at all, you’d be getting to know that my cheap ass can’t pass up a good deal, regardless of the name of the joint.

They’re located on the main floor of the Capital Place Building and parking is available underground. HOWEVER. Be warned.  If you have a somewhat tallish SUV, the clearance is only 6’1 and unless you want to cause by-standards to run to your vehicle door, flailing arms, mouthing STOP, STOP, and generally making a scene so you don’t slowly and painfully scrape the roof racks off the top of your ride,…. you’ll want to park on the street. Just thought,.. you know.. that I’d mention that.

Ahem.

Moving on, let’s chat briefly about the decor. Let’s just say, I loved it. They seated us by the window  with a nice view that sort of overlooks the river valley and the high level bridge with peeks of the skyline. Rich dark woods, a contemporary decor that’s comfortable and impressive at the same time.

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We were seated to the table, and our drink order was taken immediately. Our server came and gave us the info on the specials and what dishes have been popular, which is a nice tip for those who aren’t sure what to order.

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We decided to share a half order of their Crisp Ambrosia Apple and Red Anjou Pear Slaw Salad (gathered greens, Canadian oka, orange and grapefruit & maple citrus vinaigrette) to start, and for our main lunch, I ordered the The Boar Belly Chicken Club (crisp greens, tomato, aged cheddar, bacon mayo) and my nephew ordered The Hand Formed Alberta Bison Burger (Caramelized red onion jam, chiffonade romaine, oven dried tomato, wild mushroom and truffle aioli, water chiabatta bun).

The salad:

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It was crispy and sweet from the apples and pears, and the tartness was nice from the citrus fruit segments. The way they cut the apple and pear in match sticks made it a bit awkward to eat as there’s no way to eat them and still look pretty. Thank God I wasn’t on a date and my nephew thinks I’m awesome regardless of how stupid I look when I eat.

Every bite was different – sweet, tart, and at times you’d get a hit of the Oka cheese, or a salty bite from what I think was finishing salt. All over, the salad was quite nice, but it was BEGGING for some sort of nut. Almonds or walnuts, whatever… please, hear it’s cry and add some nuts!

The Boar Bacon Chicken Club:

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Ok, so first, the crappy news. My sandwich was…….. ho-hum. You know, kinda like when u kiss someone you’re not sure if you’re into. It was nice… but no “wow” factor. The boar bacon was thick and tasty, but when everything was all combined between the bun, it was all one note. Nothing really stood out, the flavors just kinda huddled together and kept to themselves. I’m not saying it was bad, don’t get me wrong. It was nice, juicy, and a popular pick on the menu apparently, but it was kind of the under-achiever of the meal. It should be noted that the fries were damn good, though. Hand cut and not overcooked, sharp, cut-your-mouth-open, little spears – like some places make them.

Ugh.

The Side Ceasar:

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Garrett’s burger came with a side of caesar salad. The romaine was grilled in wedge style and had everything that should be in a caesar salad piled on top of the romaine. He loved it. He said that grilling the romaine added a great flavor and the dressing was rich and flavorful. At one point, he had a larger bite of an anchovy, but it didn’t deter him.

The Bison Burger:

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The burger itself was SUPER moist and juicy, which is impressive being bison – so easy to overcook into a puck. The red onion jam stood up with a nice tarty sweetness against the meatyness of the bison and the bun was soft and chewy. Almost too soft, as both my sandwich and his burger were falling apart as you ate them. No biggie tho. Being as cool as we both are, we rolled with it, and they were thoughtful to toast the bun which ALWAYS makes bread a bit more kick-ass. So honestly saying, with the exception of the fall apart bun, the bison burger was the BEST burger I’ve had in a VERY long time. It’s what burger dreams are made of,  know what I’m sayin’?

It also should be noted that The Phork is open early for us morning lovers (7:30 a.m.) who want breakfast out, and for those who are still awake after 10, they have a late night tapas menu that runs till 2am. Impressive right? Weekends have live music as well.

All in all, I can forgive the kitchy spelling because I REALLY like this place so far. I will definitely be back to check out their dinner menu, see that view at night with all the lights and soft music, and if I drink enough coffee, I might make it to the tapas menu for after ten.

Lastly, this place is perfect for a date night, people. Reasonably priced, great service, good food, and super sexy ambiance. SURELY the recipe to possibly pay off later…. wink wink :)

blueforkinfoodiestamp

The Phork on Urbanspoon

Rick and Alice’s Grill

Rick and Alice’s Grill.

7106 109 St NW, Edmonton, AB T6G

A Grill, in my mind, has a cool vintage diner type feel, red and chrome, black and white checks, a long counter and booths. I conjure up waitresses like “Flo”- the pink uniformed, blonde buffonted and gum chewing broad, telling Al to “kiss her grits”. Somehow though, with its dowdy pastel-ish 80’s decor, non-diner like tables, Rick and Alice’s Grill really doesn’t fit that bill, however, it mainly attracts the “haven’t-gone-to-bed-need-afterparty-grub” and the “Just-left-church-need-afterconfessional-grub” crowds that might frequent a diner type joint.

I’ve been here three times. The first two times, it was between the times of noon and three, and when I walked in, they were vacuuming.

Yep… vacuuming. BOTH TIMES. Vacuuming the old, old, oh, did I mention OLD, short pile carpet, appetizingly beside the tables, even while people were dining. All I could imagine were the little particles of dust, crap and french fry bits being sparkled up into the afternoon sunbeams shining through the windows, coming to rest atop the tables and silverware.

MMmmmmmmmmm.

Today was slightly different. Sans vacuum, we were greeted by someone who I’ll assume is Alice (an extremely nice asian woman) who quickly and efficiently directed us to a table by the windows, which I really appreciated. I like sitting by windows. She brought us menu’s and my companion and myself ordered water to drink while we checked out the fare offered. When the water arrived at the table, I thought it was kinda cool to see a little slice of lemon in the water. I literally mean LITTLE, like, a quarter of a measly slice of damn lemon, but it was still a nice touch that you don’t see anywhere else anymore.

Menu:

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So besides the menu looking like a ransom note, most items offered are comfort food geared,  breakfast and some basic lunch dishes. Salads, burgers, sandwiches, pasta and some stir fries. For the most part, I think it’s a decent menu but on a side note, if you don’t eat meat, you might be a bit limited here as it seems that almost every entree includes something that once had eyes.  Pricing is standard, however, one little item pretty much stunned me with a “WTF” bitchslap. Check this shit out:

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Uh yeah.

Over SEVEN dollars for a SIDE of sweet potato fries.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE Alice, come the hell on here. What do you do to the fries that are so special to warrant arms and legs for a sweet starchy fry? Ok, so maybe I’m a cheap ass chick (ok,…. not maybe,… I AM), but wholly crap, that price is simply crazy talk.

Anyway, onto the meal. I ordered the Bacon, Cheese and Mushroom Burger with a side of fries. Service was pretty quick, so can’t complain about that. Here’s the cheesy PHONE photo, as I didn’t have my REAL camera with me.

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I forgot to tell them NO ONION. Fresh onion has no place in this chick’s mouth as I will taste it till next tuesday, and nobody has time for that.

Here’s a second photo:

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Review

After removing the very fresh, but (as my Mom would call it) ‘OFFENSIVE’ onion, I put the burger together, cut it in half, and took a bite.

First impressions….. not bad.

Good things about the burger are these:

– Pure, house made patty (no binder laden, half- cow- half- unpronounceable ingredients) .. I hope, anyway.
-REAL cheese, all melty and gooey on top like the burger gods said it shall be.
-Toasted bun.(mine was a bit tooooo toasty, but that’s ok. Adds character.)

Shitty things about the burger:

– Pure house made patty (no binder it seems of ANY sort; maybe not even an egg?), so it crumbles and doesn’t want to hold together.

-Remember I said it was a MUSHROOM burger as well? Yeah, la fungi was pretty much non existant. In fact, the one or two that were embedded in the melted cheese made it seem like they were an afterthought or accidentally dropped on it.

-The bacon was one strip that laid across, and hung over the sides of the burger. Why not cut that thing in half so both sides have some bacon-y goodness? Why MUST I do everything myself??? Sigh.

– Too much relish

As I ate it, I ended up taking the top bun off eating the damn burger with a fork and knife because it just wouldn’t stay together. The taste was pretty nice though. You could taste the beef, bacon and cheese as it should be, but no mushrooms as they missed the bus to the party. The lettuce, tomato and toasty part of the bun added a nice crunch and freshness that made the burger that much better. If they could figure out how to make the whole burger stay together while you eat it like a REAL burger, then it would be pretty close to being kickass.

The fries? I’m not even going to talk about them because well, they were just not memorable. In fact, I’ve forgotten about them already. What was I talking about again?

So, because of the quick, warm and friendly service, nice lemony touch, a tasty but alas, crumbly burger, and a weird vacuum dust-up, I give Rick and Alice’s Grill:

5/10

blueforkinfoodiestamp

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