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A Recipe From My Boyfriend, Jamie Oliver.

I’m baaaaaaaaaack!

Pardon the long absence. Jamie and I have been just SO busy jetting around the world, saving kids from shitty school lunches and such that I just haven’t had time to do a review…. or a recipe.

How’s my boyfriend, Jamie Oliver you ask? Well… he’s super hot of course, cool and funny. We’ve been jetting here and there over the world.. interview, cooking demo’s.. etc. The media keep wanting to interview me but I just tell them no – I just can’t possibly stomach the paparazzi. They make up lies! They fabricate stories! They spread un-truths!

**blink** **blink**

Not like me at all.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh ok ok ok.

So Jamie Oliver is NOT my boyfriend.. and I haven’t been jetting all around the world ok?? I’ve been at home, enjoying the quality half hour or so we spend together. Well, maybe not TOGETHER, together… and maybe it’s just me WISHING Jamie was my boyfriend. Can’t blame a girl, can ya?  I mean, look at him! ‘Nuff said.

Ok.. soooo… my REAL boyfriend, being all sweet and understanding, fulfilled my wishes and bought me a couple of Jamie’s cookbooks. Can I just say I was thrilled???

I looked and looked over those cookbooks, trying to decide which one of his recipes I’d attempt first.  Because I couldn’t really decide… I did the “open the book and make what you see”… method. (Remember this method? It was the same method I used choosing the recipe for dauphine potatoes from Anthony Burdain, here. )

Ok.. so the book is this one.


and the recipe is:

Grilled Filet Steak with the Creamiest White Beans and Leeks
(*linked at the bottom)


I was a little let down by the Recipe Choosing Gods because truth be told… I’m not a fan of lima beans. They’re “ok”, but really, they rank pretty low on my favorites list. But… choose me this recipe it did, so cook it I must. (Like that resolve?? lol)

Here we go.

So you slice up 4 leeks, nice and thin. My question that the recipe didn’t state was HOW MUCH of the leek did I cut? The whole white and green part? Because I have to say… the upper portion of the green parts on those leeks were like barn boards. TOUUUUGGGHH!!! I was going to call my brother who is a chef and ask him as he would most likely know. However.. I thought I should follow the recipe as it states, and figure this out on my own. That way, any mistakes I make, I can report to you – my illustrious, amazing readers – and you’d just think I’m amazing for saving you making the same mistakes! I’m so cool sometimes, it’s hard for me to stand it.


Ok.. so I didn’t slice the woody ends. ONLY to the portion where it started to go thick and tough. After chopping, sweat them in a pan with garlic and a “knob” ( “Knob”.. funny word for a measurement. “knob” is probably a tablespoon or something – I’m guessing. Who knows? I wouldn’t mistake it for a stick of butter or anything………………… orrrr would I????? ).

Anyway, after they’re nice and soft, add a cup of white wine (any that you like to drink is fine.). Leave enough wine for you to enjoy after with the meal. Be it a glass, or the whole damn bottle.

Hey… I don’t judge.

Turn the heat up and bring this to a boil. At this point, the lima beans can join the party. Please be sure to rinse them from the can because you don’t want any mushy grossness from the bottom of the can being a party crasher.


Add them to pot with a “splash” of water (I added about a 1/3 cup of water). Turn the heat to simmer and let it do its thing for about 5 – 10 minutes.


In the meantime…….

Season your steaks. I used just top sirloin cuts. Nothing fancy. Place them in a screaming hot pan and fry those lovelies on both sides for a few minutes a piece. You don’t want to over cook them. Take them out and let them rest.

Back to your beans, add the crème fraiche, give it a stir. The recipe says to add a glug of olive oil but I left it out, as I didn’t think it was needed really, but that’s my thing. If you want to , go ahead and glug away!

Slice your steaks into thick strips. Divide the bean mixture between the plates and add the steak strips on top.  Here’s my final masterpiece:


My review? Considering I’m not crazy about recipes with beans and leeks, this was quite good. The leeks were sweet and tender, and the beans were nice and soft and creamy. Surprisingly, they really showed off the flavor of the wine. Combined with the PERFECTLY cooked steak (If I say so myself!) I thought overall, the dish was quite nice. Easy to make and VERY filling. Who thought??

Did it blow me away? No. Would I make it again? Maybe….. and only if I knew the people I was making it for liked leeks and lima beans. If you met people like that, make this for them!

You’ll be a rock star :)

If you decide to try the dish, please let me know what you think of my boyfriend’s recipe.

Ok, ok… my PRETEND boyfriend!

Don’t judge.

Just go make the recipe. ;)


Clickin’ the Heels for a Tart

Seriously now. Who wakes up thinking… ‘I want to make an onion tart.’


Maybe I was channeling Martha Stewart  or Julia Child (I should be so lucky… about Julia, not Martha. No need for me to be more tight assed than I already am.)

But here I was, waking up to thoughts of caramelized onions in a tart-ish type thing.

Have I ever WANTED an onion tart?

Have I ever REALLY liked puff pastry?

Do I ever REALLY want onions on ANYTHING??


So what’s up with the figurative mornin’ wood for an onion tart?

Regardless, I followed the urge and got my butt to the store, to buy the stuff I needed and went home.

Following Bon’ Appetit’s recipe, I got to work.

Onions. Puff pastry. Bacon. Creme fraiche ( I know…shee shee foo foo, right?).

Here’s the  goods, in picture form.

Roll out the puff pastry in a sheet.

Turn up the edges. (I forgot to take a photo of this. Yes, I know.) Chill. (The pastry, not you……….. Ok, you too.)

Recipe says 3 strips of bacon but COME ON. Don’t you know when it comes to bacon, 5 is the new 3??

Cut them up to make fancy french named bacon-bit type things called LARDONS.  Funny name,… Lardons. Sounds like something that should be stuck to my fat ass… and…actually… um..




Meanwhile, in a bowl put honey, white wine and bacon drippings and whisk together. Set aside.


Now for the onions. I used two big ones (as you can see)


and sliced them using my mandolin. Trust me, I used it for the cheesy potato fiasco here and I used it again. Listen, I implore you… make your life easier and more “cheffy” by getting one. Mine cost a whopping 9.99.

G’head. Make some big ass rings with that bubba.


Mix the honey mixture with the onions, make sure you coat them well, and spread on a parchment cookie sheet.


Slide in the oven and go make yourself useful. Crochet a hat. Go river rafting. Cure world hunger.

30 min later, stir the onions. Keep this up till you see them getting toasty and caramelized.

In another bowl, put creme fraiche, salt, pepper and nutmeg together.


Pour the creme fraiche mixture onto your chilled pastry things evenly. (Yep. Forgot the photo.)

 Place onions on top evenly. (aaand yet again, forgot the photo.)

Get your sprinkle on with the bacon. Evenly.

(finally got my poop in a group. Here’s the photo.)


In the oven she goes. Recipe says 20 minutes, but I had mine in there a good 30, so keep an eye out so they don’t burn.
Take them out when the pastry looks nice and toasty, and the filling is kinda bubbly. Cool a bit.


Oh sweet baby Jesus.

I literally CANNOT remember when I had such a great tasting morsel of food that I actually made. (Ok, except for the toffee thing here, but that’s chocolate and doesn’t count).

The sweetness of the onions, the creaminess of the creme fraiche, accented with the salty/smokiness of the bacon and the buttery, flaky, crispy yet tender bite of the pastry all came together in a way that makes you wanna jump and click your heels in a leprechauny way, and not give one shit how stupid you look doing it.

I actually had to phone people to tell them how good it was. If you’re any self-respecting foodie, you know what I’m talking about.


I’ll agree, she’s the wallflower of tarts, but she’s the kind you wanna bring home to mom, that’s for damn sure.

And I don’t really like onions… or puff pastry..but this is a whole new ball game.

Trust me on this one.

Bon Appetit!