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Phood at The Phork

The Phork
9710 110 Street Capital Place Building
Edmonton, Alberta

Phunny how things are spelled sometimes.

I owed my incredibly handsome nephew a meal and I had recently came across a Groupon deal for a new restaurant called “The Phork”. Usually, restaurants with spellings like this, or with kitchy names like The Crazy Giraffe or The Pink Zebra, usually make me roll my eyes. I just don’t understand that type of restaurant naming.

The Phork is a new restaurant that’s been open for 3 weeks or so, and had a Groupon “coupon” for $50.00 value if you spent $25.00.  If you’ve been reading my incredibly interesting blog at all, you’d be getting to know that my cheap ass can’t pass up a good deal, regardless of the name of the joint.

They’re located on the main floor of the Capital Place Building and parking is available underground. HOWEVER. Be warned.  If you have a somewhat tallish SUV, the clearance is only 6’1 and unless you want to cause by-standards to run to your vehicle door, flailing arms, mouthing STOP, STOP, and generally making a scene so you don’t slowly and painfully scrape the roof racks off the top of your ride,…. you’ll want to park on the street. Just thought,.. you know.. that I’d mention that.

Ahem.

Moving on, let’s chat briefly about the decor. Let’s just say, I loved it. They seated us by the window  with a nice view that sort of overlooks the river valley and the high level bridge with peeks of the skyline. Rich dark woods, a contemporary decor that’s comfortable and impressive at the same time.

thephork2 phork2

We were seated to the table, and our drink order was taken immediately. Our server came and gave us the info on the specials and what dishes have been popular, which is a nice tip for those who aren’t sure what to order.

phork1

We decided to share a half order of their Crisp Ambrosia Apple and Red Anjou Pear Slaw Salad (gathered greens, Canadian oka, orange and grapefruit & maple citrus vinaigrette) to start, and for our main lunch, I ordered the The Boar Belly Chicken Club (crisp greens, tomato, aged cheddar, bacon mayo) and my nephew ordered The Hand Formed Alberta Bison Burger (Caramelized red onion jam, chiffonade romaine, oven dried tomato, wild mushroom and truffle aioli, water chiabatta bun).

The salad:

phork3

It was crispy and sweet from the apples and pears, and the tartness was nice from the citrus fruit segments. The way they cut the apple and pear in match sticks made it a bit awkward to eat as there’s no way to eat them and still look pretty. Thank God I wasn’t on a date and my nephew thinks I’m awesome regardless of how stupid I look when I eat.

Every bite was different – sweet, tart, and at times you’d get a hit of the Oka cheese, or a salty bite from what I think was finishing salt. All over, the salad was quite nice, but it was BEGGING for some sort of nut. Almonds or walnuts, whatever… please, hear it’s cry and add some nuts!

The Boar Bacon Chicken Club:

phork5

Ok, so first, the crappy news. My sandwich was…….. ho-hum. You know, kinda like when u kiss someone you’re not sure if you’re into. It was nice… but no “wow” factor. The boar bacon was thick and tasty, but when everything was all combined between the bun, it was all one note. Nothing really stood out, the flavors just kinda huddled together and kept to themselves. I’m not saying it was bad, don’t get me wrong. It was nice, juicy, and a popular pick on the menu apparently, but it was kind of the under-achiever of the meal. It should be noted that the fries were damn good, though. Hand cut and not overcooked, sharp, cut-your-mouth-open, little spears – like some places make them.

Ugh.

The Side Ceasar:

phork7

Garrett’s burger came with a side of caesar salad. The romaine was grilled in wedge style and had everything that should be in a caesar salad piled on top of the romaine. He loved it. He said that grilling the romaine added a great flavor and the dressing was rich and flavorful. At one point, he had a larger bite of an anchovy, but it didn’t deter him.

The Bison Burger:

phork6

The burger itself was SUPER moist and juicy, which is impressive being bison – so easy to overcook into a puck. The red onion jam stood up with a nice tarty sweetness against the meatyness of the bison and the bun was soft and chewy. Almost too soft, as both my sandwich and his burger were falling apart as you ate them. No biggie tho. Being as cool as we both are, we rolled with it, and they were thoughtful to toast the bun which ALWAYS makes bread a bit more kick-ass. So honestly saying, with the exception of the fall apart bun, the bison burger was the BEST burger I’ve had in a VERY long time. It’s what burger dreams are made of,  know what I’m sayin’?

It also should be noted that The Phork is open early for us morning lovers (7:30 a.m.) who want breakfast out, and for those who are still awake after 10, they have a late night tapas menu that runs till 2am. Impressive right? Weekends have live music as well.

All in all, I can forgive the kitchy spelling because I REALLY like this place so far. I will definitely be back to check out their dinner menu, see that view at night with all the lights and soft music, and if I drink enough coffee, I might make it to the tapas menu for after ten.

Lastly, this place is perfect for a date night, people. Reasonably priced, great service, good food, and super sexy ambiance. SURELY the recipe to possibly pay off later…. wink wink :)

blueforkinfoodiestamp

The Phork on Urbanspoon

Hershey shmershy… You can make candybars too!

All right all you chocoholics out there. Here’s one to saddle your candy lovin’ ass up to. Do you like the taste of toffee and chocolate laid upon each other? Maybe a threesome with some nutty ground pecans?

I heard you scream “Yes!” from way over there you candy freak.  Get your pots and pans out, wipe the spittle off your chin and let’s get this show on the road.

I have a crazy cookbook that a friend gave me that replicates famous recipes. Being a lovely and somewhat sheltered Canadian, I am not familiar with a lot of the American wanna be recipe clones. However, I DO know what a Heath Bar is. Oooh yes fellow chocolate addicts, I am familiar. We have Heath’s sister bar here in Canada called The Skor bar. I’ve had hundreds a few of those bars in my lifetime.

 So not only did the promise of buttery toffee smeared with milk chocolate spur me to make this recipe, it was THIS genius line that was included in the instructions:

” Boil first three ingredients until it thickens and looks like a paper bag”.

Ummmm huh?

Who gives cooking instructions like that?????

I was sold.

This is how I did it:

Take one cup of sugar, half a cup of butter, and half a cup ground pecans.

Combine in a pot…… like this:

heathpot

Begin to heat and start to constantly stir.

Stir some more.

Then stir even more.

FINALLY, when it begins to boil…

stir more.

heathpot1

As I was stirring, I was finding that the butter didn’t want to incorporate nicely into the rest of the mixture, but well.. I just kept at it like the dedicated blogger I am…

(Hope your happy. Sigh.)

 I’m assuming that this is the stage that the paper bag look was supposed to magically appear. I was hoping that the author REALLY meant that the mixture would look like a paper bag, and not just mean THE COLOR of a paper bag… otherwise, it would make more sense to just SAY that, right???

Anyway.. this is what it looked it at that stage:

heathpot2

No paper bag appeared….. only shattered expectations.

So when it reached the COLOR of a paper bag, I took it out of the pot and spread it on the parchment lined tray. I spent some time and smoothed it out, pushing it into the corners. The excess butter from the pot was somehow reabsorbed, so, hey, thank you science.

The mixture was not enough to spread on the whole pan unless you want it the thickness of saranwrap, so I just used half the pan – it’s not rocket science.

heathpan

heaththickness

I took my chocolatey kisses and spread those little bubbas all over the SCREAMIN HOT mixture you just spread on the pan. The heat will melt all the chocolate so you can spread it all over. Ooooohhh yeah… melty spready warm milk chocolate. You’re pretty much emotionally dead if you don’t love that moment….. that, or you’re a guy – one of the two.

Check out this love in:

heathkisses

heathchocolate

It took a while to cool off because obviously, melted sugar is pretty much molten LAVA.  I geniusly hastened the cool-off  period by putting it in the fridge and when it cooled, cracked it all into pieces.

Do me a favor. When you make this, (and I know you will), and break it up to pieces, slide a piece in your mouth. Let the chocolate melt on your tongue then crunch up that buttery tasting toffee/pecan mixture.

heathfinished

Close your eyes in pure culinary ecstasy.

You can thank me later.

Of course, this recipe gets a 12 out of 10.

blueforkinfoodiestamp

Hell’s Cracklins

Hello everyone, my name is Kidfresh and I’m here on a guest review for Forkin’ Foodie. Why was I selected to make this guest review out of the numerous non-Canadians Joanne knows?

Well, the answer is right here:

Bag
I was foolish enough to post this photo on my facebook page because, well, it’s an abomination straight from Hell. But then sweet little Joanne asked me to ingest this labratory experiment and forward my medical records to Forkin’ Foodie.

So, here it goes.

As you can see, I purchased both “flavors” of Lowrey’s Microwave Pork Rinds. Those “flavors” would be:

Original:

bag1

And Hot and Spicy:

Bag2

In reality, the flavors are salt and saltier, but we’ll get into that in a minute.

I was quite surprised to find out that the sodium content was indeed fairly low in comparison to what I was tasting. At 310 mg per serving, this package has less than 1 gram of sodium, which I totally don’t believe. But I digress.

bagcontent
The package looks just like microwave popcorn, but there are some noticeable variations in the instructions.

baginstructions

First of all, you are instructed to “shake the bag 5-6 times to spread the pork rinds around the bag evenly”. My guess is that if you don’t, the clumped up rinds will heat into one whole wild boar and attack you once you open the package. With this in mind, I shook the bag rigorously. So much so in fact, that I heard some of the rind pieces fly from the bag and hit the floor. But curiously, I never found them.

Hmmmmm.

The other instruction that was a departure from the common microwave popcorn was the insistence to “WATCH”  the bag. “Do NOT leave unattended”. Why? Because “the product does not pop”. In fact, “the bag may not expand like popcorn”. Sounded like an ambush to me. I proceeded with caution.

I placed the bag in the microwave on HIGH for 90 seconds. At the one minute mark, it started to smell like Cup O’ Noodles Soup. That didn’t make me feel any safer than the anticipation of the wild boar. The bag did in fact expand, but there was no popping. Instead, I started to hear the cracklin of dem pork cracklins.

When the 90 seconds were done, I pulled the bag out of the oven and opened it up. To my surprise not only was I not mauled or mutilated, but there seemed to normal pork rinds in the bag.

results1

They still looked normal on the plate:

results2
And to my recollection, they tasted normal. And by normal, I mean salty as hell. I haven’t chomped on dese here pork cracklins for over a decade and a half, easily. But they seem to be what I remembered. Crunchy and salty, and just screaming with country fried death.

When I picked up the bag of the Hot and Spicy rinds, I noticed that the bag was really flat. Way too flat to hold the “original” cracklins that were on my plate. So I decided to shake a few out to see what they looked like, pre-atomic blast.

And this is what they looked like:

results3
I don’t deep fry hogs on a regular basis, so I was surprised to see that these little bits of Satan’s meat turn into these ribbons of rinds. Uneasiness crept into my bones once more. But I popped the Hot and Spicy back into the microwave for another 90 seconds and WALLAH!

results4
As you can see, that red tinge is the color of “saltier”. There wasn’t much spice, but a whole lot more salt. I only had 2 or 3 cracklins. That was mainly because I didn’t think I would be able to get the action shot of my heart exploding out of my chest with hypertension if I ate any more than that.

The bottom line is this. If you like pork rinds, you will probably really like this because they not only taste like pork rinds, but you get the added pleasure of getting them hot and cracklin right out of the nuke box. And I do mean cracklin! These things are still cracklin as I write this sentence.

You guys enjoy. I”m calling F.E.M.A.

Deliciousness Beside the Peep Show

Double Greeting Wonton House
10212 96 St NW,
Edmonton, AB

A group of girls decided to get our lunch on and head down to sketchytown for some authentic chinese cuisine. This little dive joint has been around FOREVER, and is the greasy spoon of chinese food. Conveniently or not, depending on who’s got their freak on, it’s located about a block away from a cheap, seedy peep show spot…. or, you can head the other direction down the street and go to the “tavern” as long as one leaves their knife at the door.

Walking in, the bathrooms are right by the door so you get smacked up the side of the head with the stank of bathroom freshener. The ATM machine is conveniently located right by the washrooms as well, so there’s no getting away from the chemical flower fumes.  Nice right? Ask no questions, and just head to a table.

We were served promptly with tea and menus. The kind of menus that read like an encyclopedia – 300 items on that damn thing.

menu2

Everything is pretty much described in english so you know what you’re ordering……………. except:

menu1

Check out number’s 250 and 251. Uh huh. Raised my eyebrow too.

Apparently, it’s stomach. Not tripe, but stomach.

One of my friends quietly, innocently and sincerely asked,….. “human?”

After pretty much peeing my pants at her naive foodie-ness, and well, naive-ness in general, we ordered.

Dish by dish, here we go:

worwonton

Wor Wonton Soup.

KICK ASS BROTH!!
This broth will make you wanna do unmentionable things to the bowl it comes in, trust me. Fish balls, bbq pork, greens, mushrooms,
shrimp, chicken, wontons, etc.

Excellence in a bowl, hands down………

UNTIL THIS HAPPENED:

haminsoup

DELI HAM in wor wonton soup???  WTH,…. really?  Ok, so honestly, the soup is SO freakin good, I can
get past the bits of spam and pick them out of my soup.  I honestly wanted to just put it on my finger and flick it across the room
and pretend it didn’t happen.

Next dish:
longdonut

Long Donut with Rice Roll.

Just as it sounds. Savory donut, wrapped in a rice noodle with sauce on it. My mom, who came with us, put a piece in her mouth,
smiled and literally did jazz hands.
JAZZ HANDS, people.

brisket

Brisket.

Bits of beef brisket cooked slow and tender in this yummy rich five spice type gravy that had a prominent but at the same time, subtle, anise flavor.
Sounds disgusting, but ohhh no friends and neighbors, not this time. It was incredible!

beefchowfan

Beef Chow Fan with Bean Sprouts.

Unanimously, (not counting me), the most loved dish at the table.
Flat wide noodles with tender slices of beef in a sauce that has a smoky flavor to it.
It will ROCK your world and leave you wanting a cigarette afterwards.
Trust me.

chickentofu1

Some strange chicken and tofu dish

Ok. Chicken and tofu wrapped in a wrapper and deep-fried with a spicy …. black bean sauce?
It was the weirdo at the dance. No one really wanted to try it,
and when they did, they thought it was an odd combo. A bit too spicy if there was too much sauce on a piece,
and the texture was kinda chewy and spongy. Yeah, go figure.

Last dish:

crispyporkchop

Crispy Pork Chop with Spiced Salt.

I wanted to take this dish and hide under the table. Empty it into my purse and let no one take it from me.
It wasn’t the fave with the group,but it sooo was with me… ohhhh sweet mercy.
I never knew pork could taste that good. Salty, a little spicy, crunchy, seasoned little darlings.

Don’t go to this place expecting great service or wonderful decor.
Don’t expect the wait staff to be talkative and service orientated.
DO have a “club” on your steering wheel if you value your ride and are that paranoid.
It’s a cheap, authentic, get-your-grub-on type of place.

Go.
Fill your face.
Cheaply.
Save your quarters for the tits and ass next door if that’s your thing.
Hey… I’m only here to judge the food.

I give Double Greeting Wonton House:

8/10

blueforkinfoodiestamp

Double Greeting Wonton House on Urbanspoon

Anthony and His Snazzy Potatoes….

I decided to randomly open Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Cookbook and cook the recipe on the page it opened at.

Gratin Dauphinois,
page 240 (recipe to follow)

Potatoes, cream, cheese, other stuff.

A.K.A. Scalloped Potatoes

Kinda.

And if not scalloped, DEFINITELY, Snazzy Potatoes.
(Thanks Jamel for “snazzy“. Gotta love that word, SO appropriate for this)

One of the best comfort foods to put in a bowl. You can be all homey and slide on furry slippers, cuddle under a blankie, and fill your face with these  while still eating a SNAZZY upscale potato dish with a french name. You’ll be cool.

Oh, and eat it with a wooden spoon, there’s something just SO much more ‘yummier’ about food when you do that. Seriously, try it. Trust me.

Ok.. so here we go.

Ingredients : Potatoes, cream, cheese, shitloads of garlic, nutmeg, herbs and a bit o’ buttah.

snazzypot

Peel and slice to a quarter-inch, 7 Yukon gold potatoes.

Um yeah,..  I just used regular white ones and a mandolin.

Why use a knife when you can tempt fate and digit health when you have a mandolin??? Thrills and spills man,.. thrills and spills. That’s my M.O.

snazzypot1

Smash up the garlic, but leave it sort of whole so you can fish it out later. Like this:

snazzypot2

Throw the potatoes with the garlic into the pot and add the cream, herbs, salt, pepper and nutmeg.

snazzypot3
Bring to a boil and then turn down heat to simmer for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 350.

After ten minutes, put potatoes into a buttered dish, fish out the herbs and garlic from the cream, and pour the cream over the potatoes.

Sprinkle the grated cheese over the dish and throw it in oven.

snazzypot4

Cook for 45 minutes.

Ok, so that’s what the recipe says to do.. but by the time I took the potatoes from the pot and put then in the dish, they were pretty soft, so to cook them for an additional 45 minutes is just crazy talk unless you want a mass of mushy brown/burnt potatoes stuck to your pan. Use your judgement though, you aren’t stupid, my pretties. You can figure out this timing thing. I cooked mine for 25 minutes. They weren’t all golden brown and gorgeous like a brazilian model, so I cheated and used the culinary self tanner.

THE BROILER.

3 minutes did the trick.

Check it  out:

snazzypot5Okokokok.. they could be a bit more “golden” on the scale of brown,

but hey, what if I burned the stuff….. THEN what?? What sort of photos would I have to impress all you beautiful people with???

Cuz…….you ARE impressed, right?……… RIGHT??

snazzypot6

Review:

Bland with a capital BORING.

They were rich and creamy, no doubt. The cheese added more richness, but wow man…B.L.A.N.D.

Even with all that garlic flavor infused into the cream, I actually added extra salt to liven it up a tad and that helped. The cheese on the top was yummy and flavorful, but I could have slumped over and started snoring with the spoon hanging out of my mouth when I tasted the inside.

However, that being said, if you like food on the more tempered side, and love the richness of sultry whipping cream with melted cheese and soft potatoes, then you’ll love this dish. It will wrap it’s starchy little arms around you and rub your back while you lay your head on it’s breast as it lulls you in Carb Land. It’s good for that, and it won’t mind that you have garlic breath from hell.

FROM HELL.

I give Anthony Bourdains Gratin Dauphinois a

6/10

blueforkinfoodiestamp

RECIPE:

8 servings

– 7 medium Yukon Gold potatoes

– 1 cup heavy cream

– 1-½ cups whole milk

– 5 cloves garlic, crushed and peeled, divided

– ¼ teaspoon dried thyme

– 1 sprig rosemary, about 4 inches long

– 2 sprigs Italian parsley

– ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg

– 2 teaspoons kosher salt or to taste

– ¼ teaspoon ground white or black pepper

– 1 tablespoon butter

– 4 ounces Gruyère cheese, grated

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes and cut lengthwise into quarters; cut crosswise into slices about ¼-inch thick. Place in a 6-quart pot with cream, milk, 4 crushed cloves garlic, thyme, rosemary, parsley, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Bring to a high simmer over medium-high heat, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer gently 6 minutes. (Stir often to prevent potatoes from sticking to bottom of pot.) Remove pot from heat and discard garlic and herb sprigs.

2. Use remaining clove garlic to run around the inside of a 2-½-quart gratin or baking dish. Butter the inside of the dish well so that it’s evenly coated. Transfer potatoes and cream to the dish and sprinkle top with Gruyere cheese. Bake about 45 minutes or until browned and bubbling. Remove from oven and let rest 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

From “Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Cookbook”

Isss. Thissss. Spartaaaaa?????

A group of wild and crazy women headed down to Seattle WA this past weekend, looking for good times, drinks and debauchery. While I’ll stay moot on whether it was found or not, I WILL say that the added task of reviewing a food joint was accomplished. On recommendation of a local friend, Tammy, it was suggested that Sparta was the place to go to if I wanted some kickass pizza. And by kickass, I mean nice crunchy thick crust with boat loads of melty, stretchy, ooey gooey cheese, and nice, flavorful sauce.

We drove around FOREVER (thanks to a rented GPS and loads of rain), but we finally found it. (Thanks again Bella!)

spartasigns

Walking up, check out what was on the window:

universesign

I stopped dead in my tracks out of sheer incredulation. Pretty ballsy to say the Best Pizza In The WHOLE UNIVERSE , don’t you think? I’ve had some pretty awesome pizza in my past, and to say they have the best in the universe automatically sets the bar SUPER FORKIN’ HIGH.

Like…. HIIIIIIGHHH.

Ok, so moving on inside, the decor was dated but pleasant, nothing really to write home about. (And yet, I’m still writing about it…. Sigh.)  I think it needs to be said that I was pretty damn pissed off that my waiter wasn’t clothed in a white sheet thingy,  with an 8~pack and sandals like I’d hoped he’d be. I mean come on, the place is called SPARTA’s, right?

Damn me and my fantasies.

The Menu:

spartamenu

We were there for a late lunch but they have daily specials. I had the personal sized pizza (6 inch) with side salad.

“What makes your pizza so unique?” I asked the server….

“Because most places put the cheese on the bottom of the pizza and then toppings on the top. We do it the other way around.” they said.

**crickets**

**deer in headlights look**

“Oh, ok”, I said, acting like that wasn’t the most asinine thing I’d ever heard.

WHO makes pizza with all the toppings on the top, and the cheese on the bottom? REALLY???? If you do, I welcome your comments to let me know WHY, WHY and WHY, because according to my pizza bible, that’s just plain pizza blasphemy. The cheese is key people! It has to get all gooey and cheesy and kinda crusty to be all peace-like and zen in my world.

Anyway. I order. Salami and pineapple. Don’t be judging me now, pineapple DOES SO belong on pizza.

Salad comes to the table first:

spartasalad

It’s your typical bagged variety. Iceberg, strips of carrot and purple cabbage. I thought it odd that they put shredded mozza on it, but meh, whatever. I rolled with it cuz like… I’m all laid back and stuff. Yep.

My deep LOVE of black olives goes way back, so it was cool to see them, but OH MY GOD….I think their thousand island dressing was about to expire because why else did they unload it all on my salad? Literally, it was a stupid amount. So while I liked the little bit of crunch left from the lettuce, I couldn’t taste much else so my dressing with a bit of salad was pretty much a big fat fail.

The the pizza came, and as they set it down on the table, the heavens opened up, the angels sang, and I forgot about stupid salad. My cherubic face basked in the soft reflective glow of the baked~till~golden cheese. I think I even heard the pie whisper to me “Remember…. best in the universe… “

spartapizza

Ok, truth be told, the crust was not as thick as I would have liked, BUT… it had this almost crispy, pastry type of texture to it. It was like no crust I’d ever had before, and yes…. YES Dammit, I liked it.  It was tasty and the cheese was ooey and gooey as the cheese gods said it shall be. Toppings weren’t overloaded, or skimpy, it was the goldilocks amount. Again I go back to the cheese, because it was really the the co~star of this pizza:

pizzaslice

Just look at the meltyness of it.  Yeah.. it was pretty forkin’ good, I tell ya. The pineapple was sweet, and it contrasted nicely with the salty salami. It was really, really good. However……………

Best in the universe? 

Ummm… I think not. I’ve had better. However, based on the nice taste and excellent quality of the pizza, balanced with the gross amount of dressing on a mediocre salad and .. sigh… my disillusion of muscley spartan eye candy, I give Sparta’s Pizza and Spaghetti:

8/10

(the pizza pretty much carried that score.)

blueforkinfoodiestamp

Sparta's Pizza & Spaghetti House on Urbanspoon

Sweet Sesame Chicken hides my Heroin

Fighting that ingrained, deeply DNA’ed urge to get all fatteningly casseroled up due to the coming of fall, I struggled and prevailed over the instinct and bought an entree from the lighter selection available.  I’ve come to realize however, that I think the word HEALTHY is a relative term when talking about frozen food.  Relative in the same way as calling a deep-fried Mars bar “dessert”, or a Walmart greeters’ job a career, and the absolute promise of “just the tip”.

Healthy Choice’s Gourmet Steamers entree’s are sorta like that. They lull you into thinking, ‘hey, this is a good idea, I’m so righteous cuz I’m making good decisions for my body!’, and you proudly throw it into your cart, face up, so everyone walking by can envy your resolve and think your cool. Ok, maybe too much thought there, but you get my drift.

Here we go :

#4 – Healthy Choice Gourmet Steamers – Sweet Sesame Chicken

Here’s the box:

box

The Goods:

Calories: 330, fat: 5g, Carb: 53g, Protein: 17g, Sodium: 330mg (14% of your daily allowance)

The entree is endorsed by the Heart and Stroke Foundation. FYI, The Heart and Stroke Foundation charges participating companies an annual licensing fee in order to use the endorsement stamp on their packaging and cover costs associated with product assessment. It starts from $300 and up depending on the company, and The Foundation says it’s not for profit.

Hmm.

Food Tray Op:

foodtray

Heating Instructions:

1. Remove entree from carton. Place in microwave oven. (really? sheesh). Do not puncture. 2. Cook on high for 4 – 5 minutes. (I used 4 and half minutes). 3. Carefully remove film from the top. Remove steamer basket from the outer sauce bowl. 4. Stir steamed food into the sauce bowl. 5. Check that the food is cooked thoroughly ( and they show how you can insert a thermometer into the food. Again, really???  Who the hell has time for that shit?)

Here’s the shot just before combining:

foodtraymix
On a side note:

 You are full of heroic awesomeness if you recycle.

These trays (and box) are recyclable.

Recycle.

Mother Earth thanks you.

Plated Meal:

plated

2~Bite Review:

Surprisingly  the carrots and snow peas retained a slight crunch which was great. What was not so great was the fibrous-ness of the pods. Chew, chew,and then chew some more. Geezus!  I hope it goes out better than it went down. Rice was perfectly done. Not mushy, not crunchy.  Go figure right?

Sauce was sweet and the sesame taste was subtle, but present with it’s arm raised. By the way, it turns out that the sauce SHOULD be sweet because the “healthy” entree has 18 GRAMS OF SUGAR!  Big deal you say? Ok.. well .. a full can of high-test (not diet) COCA COLA has  9 grams of sugar per can, so yeah… eating this is entree is like drinking two cans of soda, or hey, how about shoving TWO Reese’s Peanut Butter cups in your pie hole? If you’re diabetic, welcome to a blood sugar extravaganza.

Ok, onto the chicken. Sigh. Kinda dry ppl.  Tasty, but be sure to have a big glass of liquid to wash it down with unless you like the feeling of miniscule, rolled up pieces of chalk rolling around in your mouth. Good times. Oh, and I need mention that the amount of chicken you get in this dish MIGHT feed a small animal.  Even my dog would be like…. “Whaat?? This is IT, cheap human?” Here’s a photo for proof. ( Of the amount of chicken, not of my talking dog.)

chicken sample

Yep. I know, calm down.

There’s one piece missing that I ate for the testing, but really, that’s all you get in the whole entree. The generosity over at Healthy Choice is overwhelming.

All in all though, based on the fact that it IS low in sodium, low in calories, low in fat, and because sugar is my heroin it was really tasty.

Besides, who doesn’t like a sugar rush???

I give Healthy Choice Gourmet Steamer Sesame Chicken

8/10

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