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Fantastic Forkin’ Foccacia (foto filled!)


Just LOOK at that amazing carby goodness.

It’s so good, it would bring you to tears, and you’d be crying, “whyyy.. WHYYY is this sooo damn good?”

It’s good because I made it. Listen, there’s no shame in my game when it comes to creations of the bready sort. (except for some hotdog buns I made the other day. CRUNCHY. Lots of shame there.)

However brothers and sisters,  the good news is, is that YOU can be a culinary carby wizard too.

Alright, ok ok. Truth be told, I’ve been making this bread recipe for about a year or so now. So I was pretty confident that it would be damn good. What, you expect me to use an untested recipe for my VERY FIRST COOKING TUTORIAL??

The head’s not just a hat~rack, friends.

Ok, here we go:

The recipe is SUPER damn easy. Trust me. A monkey can make it, and most likely probably has.

The recipe will be posted at the end of the tutorial. Until then, sit back, follow along and enjoy the thrills and spills of this pictorial instruction.  Btw, I forgot that I was actually doing a tutorial when I started making this bread, (yes. I know. It’s my first time ok??) and forgot to photograph the yeast in all it’s bloomy and foamy glory. Oh well. You guys are geniuses anyway and can figure that shit out. So, the pics begin at the whole magic of the mix~master part.

FIRST STEP: Dissolve 1 tablespoon of sugar in 2 cups of warm water. Then add 4 teaspoons of yeast. I used Fermipan regular yeast. Let it sit for ten minutes.

STEP TWO: Combine bloomed yeast and all other ingredients in bowl. Add herbs into the mixing dough at this point. I used rosemary because I LOVE rosemary, but you can use any italian type herb you’d like.


STEP THREE: After removing from bowl, knead dough (like, 10 times maybe) into a ball. Lightly spray or grease the bowl so it doesn’t stick as it rises. Replace, and cover with a nice clean tea~towel (mine was all brand new and creased. I love new.).   Put in a warm cozy place so all those itty bitty bacterias can fart their butts off and make your dough rise. Time 30 minutes.


Thirty magical minutes later:


STEP FOUR: Punch down dough and divide in half.


STEP FIVE: Take half the bread ball and roll into a rectangular shape to fit the baking pan………


…………………that you lined and greased while the dough was rising. Oh, I didn’t include that step, you say? Well, I’m KINDA including it now, and remember, you’re all geniuses people, .. do I really NEED to?

Ok, I need to. Line and grease a 9 x 13 baking pan with parchment paper. Sigh.

Put the said doughy rectangle into the pan.

Also:  With the other half of the bread, divide it into 8 pieces and roll them into balls. Score the top of the bun with a knife. I think they look like little bums in this photo.
Place on a different pan, lined with parchment paper.


Cover both and let it rise again for 30 minutes. Preheat your oven to 350, and go clean up your damn kitchen.

30 glorious minutes later:


STEP SIX: Take thy fingers and starting from the top, poke some holes all the way down the top of the dough. Not too deep, but not too shallow either.

Here, like this:


STEP SEVEN: Ok, so now is the yummy part. Lightly sprinkle some olive oil over the top. Top with any topping you’d like. I used sundried tomatoes, parmesan cheese, shredded asiago cheese, and black olives. I also sprinkled italian seasoning and coarse salt as well.  If you google foccacia toppings, you’ll see a cornucopia of ideas.



STEP EIGHT: Slide it into the oven and let it bake for 30 minutes or until nice and golden brown.

(Don’t forget to put the buns in the oven too!)

Like this:


and like this:

baked bun

Wait ten minutes and you can take it out of the pan if you wish to cool further. I didn’t. I left the sucker in there. It was fine.

2~bite Review:


Now, as for the foccacia, my initial thought was that I burned the sundried tomatos,

but my taste test reviewers said they didn’t think so and that they didn’t taste burnt. I’ll go with that opinion.

Ok, again, truth be known, I actually had a PIECE of this bread, not just two bites. But lemme tell ya friends and neighbors…. this foccacia literally made me say “OMG” out loud to no one but my dog. He looked at me like he wanted to try it too. (He did.)

Warm, soft and yummily bready on the inside. The top was a bit crunchier and with the taste of the cooked crunchy cheese, black olives and coarse salt combination, it REALLY made my day. The top was still soft-ish from the sprinkling of the olive oil so it wasn’t like, cracker crunchy if that’s what your thinking.

Oh but good gawd it was good!!

For Real.

Phew! I wanted to eat another 2 pieces but I refrained and brought it to a family bbq instead.
They loved it.

This recipe is really easy to do, and really versatile. You can leave out all the herbs and such and just make a regular loaf of bread, or roll it out and make pizza crusts. You can add another few tablespoon of sugar to the water, and it will result in a sweeter type of bread that you could roll out, spread cinnamon and sugar on, roll it up and cut into slice to make cinnamon rolls.  The possibilities are endless. ENDLESS!!

So, I’m going to give this bread recipe a 10/10 because it’s so tasty, easy, and versatile.

Go forth and BAKE BREAD lovelies! (Recipe below)


Easy Basic Bread Recipe

5 cups of white flour
2 cups warm water
1tbs sugar
4 tsp Yeast
1/4c oil
1tsp salt

Dissolve sugar into warm water. Add yeast. Let proof for 10 minutes.
Add flour and the rest of the ingredients. Mix or knead until dough is elastic and smooth.
Spray/grease bowl and cover to rise for 30 minutes in a warm place.
After 30 minutes, punch down and shape into whatever application your using the dough for (ie, bread, pizza crust, buns, etc)
Cover and let rise another 30 minutes.

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes (usually) and/or golden brown.