In the spirit of Thanksgiving this weekend, I decided my selection on the frozen food entrée had to be of the festive sort. (Yessss dear Americans, we lovely Canadians got the jump on the celebration of being all thankful and shit, waaaay before you guys even THOUGHT of the idea….. coughCopycatscough.)
Anyway… enter the Hungry Man Turkey Dinner.
Before we begin, I have a little issue to mention. It’s with the name itself.
Buying this entrée made me feel like I should be dressed in a lumberjack outfit, have an axe over my shoulder while wearing a manly, man-watch. Had I had balls to scratch, I would have – just to feel more comfortable buying this thing. Now I understand how a guy feels buying tampons.
Ok, let’s get started.
#5 – Hungry Man – Turkey Dinner
Here’s the box:
Calories: 480, Fat 13 gm, Carbohydrates 71 gm, protein 20 gm, and WHOLLY CRAP – Sodium 1430mg which equates to 60% .. SIXTY PERCENT!!!! of your daily allowance.
Food Tray Op:
1. Remove film from dessert. Cut slit over corn.
2. Microwave on high for 5 minutes. Turn back film; rearrange turkey slices. Stir stuffing and potatoes. Replace film. Return tray to microwave.
3. Microwave on high for 4 minutes.
4. Let stand in microwave for 1 minute. Stir potatoes.
Ok… so remember how the box made the meal looks so homey and comforting?.. the perfectly sliced turkey with deliciously browned gravy,…. and look again at those mashed potatoes… all whipped and luscious and that cranberry/apple dessert – simply delectable, right?
Uh huh. Sure. ….Wait.. do you hear that?… That POP noise? Yeah.. that’s your bubble bursting my friends…. or perhaps it was just mine, because when I opened the film and looked at the still half-frozen crappiness that was my festive turkey dinner, I was starting to feel all bummed out.
Take a look at the stirring point:
The damn “turkey” is TURKEY DELI MEAT. You know, the stuff you make your lunchtime sandwiches with?
SO not impressed Hungry Man.
You know, I GET that the turkey can’t be whole turkey breast off the bird simply for consistency sake, but really,
if you’re going to use chopped and formed meat, at least use those chopped and formed turkey breast roasts…
cut some THICK slices off that bubba. Don’t give me some weak~assed flimsy meat that’s meant to be loved up by bread and mayo.
I finished cooking it the rest of the way, and plated it. See?
2~Bite Taste Test:
Because the entrée had a few different components, I had a bite from each one, so technically, it’s a 5~bite taste test.
The corn was your average, run of the mill niblet corn. It was sweet but tough. Not unpleasant though. I’m sure it will go out tough like bullets as well. What??? TMI?? I thought we were all friends here. Sigh.
The turkey was gross.
It sort of tasted like turkey but really, the deli~turkey meat taste, not the just-off-the-turkey, turkey taste. Get my drift folks? In fact, not only deli grade turkey meat, but shitty quality deli meat – the kind that quite frankly, wins the hotdog trophy for processing.
The potatoes were finely mashed and pasty, much like the kind made with potato flakes. Oh, and guess what? The box confirmed my guess – they in fact ARE potatoes made from potato flakes. Surprisingly, they tasted like potatoes though. Imagine that. The dressing was VERY good, as was the gravy for the dish. The dressing was nicely textured, slightly peppery – really good.
The cranberry apple dessert was a complete joke.
I originally thought, ‘oh ok this is the dessert’… and then I thought,.. ‘wait… what????.’ because when I scooped it up on the plate,
it was LITERALLY one spoonful. No word of a lie people, ONE MEASLY SPOONFUL. Soo.. although the box calls it a dessert,
I will save their sorry butts and consider it a cranberry sauce of sorts, just to help make up for the pathetic stuff that was disguised as “turkey”.
All that being said, the sauce was very, very good. Sweet and tangy like a cranberry SAUCE should be.
Too bad this entrée didn’t come with a dessert.
Considering that I bought the entrée FOR the turkey, and it turned out to be a dismal forkin’ FAIL,
I have to say the rest of the entrée was pretty passable and left me feeling sort of festive-ish.
If the turkey was replaced with oh I dunno… proper tasting TURKEY, it would be a fantastic entrée.
I give Hungry Man’s Turkey Dinner