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Isss. Thissss. Spartaaaaa?????

A group of wild and crazy women headed down to Seattle WA this past weekend, looking for good times, drinks and debauchery. While I’ll stay moot on whether it was found or not, I WILL say that the added task of reviewing a food joint was accomplished. On recommendation of a local friend, Tammy, it was suggested that Sparta was the place to go to if I wanted some kickass pizza. And by kickass, I mean nice crunchy thick crust with boat loads of melty, stretchy, ooey gooey cheese, and nice, flavorful sauce.

We drove around FOREVER (thanks to a rented GPS and loads of rain), but we finally found it. (Thanks again Bella!)


Walking up, check out what was on the window:


I stopped dead in my tracks out of sheer incredulation. Pretty ballsy to say the Best Pizza In The WHOLE UNIVERSE , don’t you think? I’ve had some pretty awesome pizza in my past, and to say they have the best in the universe automatically sets the bar SUPER FORKIN’ HIGH.


Ok, so moving on inside, the decor was dated but pleasant, nothing really to write home about. (And yet, I’m still writing about it…. Sigh.)  I think it needs to be said that I was pretty damn pissed off that my waiter wasn’t clothed in a white sheet thingy,  with an 8~pack and sandals like I’d hoped he’d be. I mean come on, the place is called SPARTA’s, right?

Damn me and my fantasies.

The Menu:


We were there for a late lunch but they have daily specials. I had the personal sized pizza (6 inch) with side salad.

“What makes your pizza so unique?” I asked the server….

“Because most places put the cheese on the bottom of the pizza and then toppings on the top. We do it the other way around.” they said.


**deer in headlights look**

“Oh, ok”, I said, acting like that wasn’t the most asinine thing I’d ever heard.

WHO makes pizza with all the toppings on the top, and the cheese on the bottom? REALLY???? If you do, I welcome your comments to let me know WHY, WHY and WHY, because according to my pizza bible, that’s just plain pizza blasphemy. The cheese is key people! It has to get all gooey and cheesy and kinda crusty to be all peace-like and zen in my world.

Anyway. I order. Salami and pineapple. Don’t be judging me now, pineapple DOES SO belong on pizza.

Salad comes to the table first:


It’s your typical bagged variety. Iceberg, strips of carrot and purple cabbage. I thought it odd that they put shredded mozza on it, but meh, whatever. I rolled with it cuz like… I’m all laid back and stuff. Yep.

My deep LOVE of black olives goes way back, so it was cool to see them, but OH MY GOD….I think their thousand island dressing was about to expire because why else did they unload it all on my salad? Literally, it was a stupid amount. So while I liked the little bit of crunch left from the lettuce, I couldn’t taste much else so my dressing with a bit of salad was pretty much a big fat fail.

The the pizza came, and as they set it down on the table, the heavens opened up, the angels sang, and I forgot about stupid salad. My cherubic face basked in the soft reflective glow of the baked~till~golden cheese. I think I even heard the pie whisper to me “Remember…. best in the universe… “


Ok, truth be told, the crust was not as thick as I would have liked, BUT… it had this almost crispy, pastry type of texture to it. It was like no crust I’d ever had before, and yes…. YES Dammit, I liked it.  It was tasty and the cheese was ooey and gooey as the cheese gods said it shall be. Toppings weren’t overloaded, or skimpy, it was the goldilocks amount. Again I go back to the cheese, because it was really the the co~star of this pizza:


Just look at the meltyness of it.  Yeah.. it was pretty forkin’ good, I tell ya. The pineapple was sweet, and it contrasted nicely with the salty salami. It was really, really good. However……………

Best in the universe? 

Ummm… I think not. I’ve had better. However, based on the nice taste and excellent quality of the pizza, balanced with the gross amount of dressing on a mediocre salad and .. sigh… my disillusion of muscley spartan eye candy, I give Sparta’s Pizza and Spaghetti:


(the pizza pretty much carried that score.)


Sparta's Pizza & Spaghetti House on Urbanspoon

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